You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My butt remains clenched, sir.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize