watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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