Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
