Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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