Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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