check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you win again, gameday.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
