His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
