I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
