This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
