So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
