Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
