I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just cropdusted the office
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
