I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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