I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
we should paint friendship bongs
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