Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize