D3 body, D1 cock
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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