I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Your cock deserves a montage
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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