SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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