I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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