He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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