I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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