I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
