A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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