I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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