Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize