these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
