Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
