I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
