no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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