I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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