She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
