I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
