Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize