chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
