you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize