I must be too annoying 4 u.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
