So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She's the barista slut.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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