Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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