Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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