Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
