ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
