Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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