Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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