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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize