You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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