i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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