i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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