We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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