apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize