we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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