My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
