I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
