Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
