Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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