He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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