Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
