I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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