out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
