He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize