idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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