Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize